I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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