i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
