i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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