I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
