thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
