Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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