; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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