No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize