i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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