Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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