My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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