So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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