what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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