he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
