I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
