Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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