I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
