Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We're too hungover to prance.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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