Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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