I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
