Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
