somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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