so let's talk penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
