i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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