I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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