I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
