apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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