Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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