im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
