I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
