you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
