I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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