First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
