you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
