The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
