Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
