Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize