I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
