If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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