He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
