So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
