question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
