The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
