You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
