One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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