My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
