the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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