you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
