Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
