One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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