after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
