so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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