she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize