Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Boobs are out for the taking
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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