its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
