...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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