wat bout pragnant strippers??
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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