At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
