He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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