i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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