you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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